Boris' Bloody Bignose

I was teaching at Lycee, a private French elementary school. This was a special spring break camp on secret agents and the different types of technology that they use. The kids in the class were all Kindergarten and below, and many had a poor grasp of English. I began class as Boris, the devilishly handsome and somewhat narcoleptic ex-Russian spy.

"Cheeldren! You never vont to drop your guard as a spy. People could poison you, or steal your candies, or kidnaps your spongebobs, or even..."

Suddenly, as if heavenly ordained by some sick twisted farcical creature I got the first nose bleed that I have gotten in TEN YEARS!!! I mistook their expressions of mounting horror for interest and I jumped up with my hands in the air. The shrieks and screams as flecks of blood flew everywhere and tiny French children scattered were deafening. They ran from the room yelling words that all sounded like "Bonjour" and "Fromage". To my chagrin it didn't help that a 6'5" lab coat clad, blood-drenched, man was running after them yelling for them to all come back.

It took 20 minutes to round up the terrified children. Lucky for me these kids appeared to have short-term memory loss because within 30 minutes they were clinging to my legs asking for "Bonbons."